Best/Worst Audition Ever

Had my audition Tuesday for another show at the Flea, a new play by Itamar Moses, the guy who wrote Yellowjackets, for those of you in the Bay Area. He was at the audition with the director and assistant.

We've all heard the same audition spiel over and over again, that you can't know what they're thinking, they could keep you all day and not cast you or they could send you home after five minutes because that's all the time they've needed to see that you're perfect. There's no point in driving yourself crazy trying to get into their heads, so you might as well just do the best job you can and let them decide if you fit into their configurations or not.

Anybody who claims they can actually do this is lying. They're just a damn dirty liar.

There were two female tracks, each with two parts to read from. I read one part from one track and then they had me read one part from the other track. I went full forced unapologetic Russian accent for the first one, which I chose to read from because it was my favorite of all the parts, and the other they asked me to read, paused me to give me some direction, and then had me continue for a little ways. Then I got my "thank you" and went on my way.

I don't think there's really anything I would have done differently, and there was nothing that I felt too badly about. Itamar Moses (who is unfairly cute, by the way) chuckled a couple of times, but that may have been because I was funny or it could have been because I was AWFUL.

I wouldn't have thought the latter, but I have gotten no call, no emails. Nothing. No word. True, it's only been a little more than a day...but on the other hand, it's been MORE than a WHOLE DAY! The last time, for Cato, I got called in the read, called back, and cast all within five days. So I don't think this bodes well. The speed with which they finished my audition lets me know they formed a conclusion pretty quickly. There's no way to know what that conclusion was...until I don't even get called back. Then we can probably be sure.

No regrets, as Marilet would say, ain't no shame in my game. I'm not sorry for my audition. I'm just sad that NOBODY THINKS I AM FUNNY IN THIS TOWN.